No time to type today...so in a nutshell...

Old post...from another blog site...

1. My cat passed away at 5:40 pm on Tuesday, December 6th while comfortable in my arms.

2. My husband's supposedly wonderful job has just taken a nosedive. Instead of it being a 6 month contract turning permanent June 1st, it's now on a week to week basis with little to no chance of being permanent, so we're back on the fucking roller coaster.

3. My son was sick last week, but got over it quickly.

4. Christmas is going to be a lean one this year (see comment number 2).

5. Work is good...busy but good...and that's a damn good thing (again, see comment number 2).

Gotta go!

Losing my kitty?

Old post...from another blog site...

I'm sitting here crying my eyes out and I don't know what to do. I've been doing some research online, and Willie might have Chronic Renal Failure. She seems to have the symptoms of either that or diabetes. Whatever it is, I can't afford to treat either condition. I also don't know if I want to let nature take its course or have her euthanized. I've been reading online that a natural death can be peaceful...but it can also be very traumatic and painful for the animal. I don't know if I want to let her go through that if it is. But at the same time, I don't know if I can afford to have her euthanized. I also have to live with the fact that I should have taken her to the vet a long time ago...but I didn't recognize/know the symptoms. I just thought she was getting old (which basically she is...but it could have been treated).

If I choose to let her go naturally, I take the chance that she's going to suffer...and it also means that I will find her one morning, or one evening after work and have to deal with it while trying to explain to Jason what happened.

If I choose to take her to the vet/humane society and have her put down, then I have to live with the fact that I chose to end her life before God chose to take her. But at the same time, she would just go peacefully to sleep. Then I have to explain to Jason where she went and why...how do you explain to a very inquisitive 4 year old how/why you let someone kill his pet???

Oh crap. I don't know what the heck I'm gonna do. I just looked over at her while on the phone with Rick and I thought she had stopped breathing. I had to go over and touch her to make sure.

I am very quickly losing it. My mom tries to help...she's sympathetic...but at the same time she's not as attached to Willie as I am, and only sees that it will be one less cat to clean up after. Part of me is angry at her for being so callous...but the logical part of my brain knows she's right.

Rick is trying to help...but he just ends up making it worse...and our money troubles don't help right now.

Okay...that's it. I need to get away from the computer, because it's in the same room as the cats and I keep looking over at her as if I'm waiting for something to happen. I can't take it anymore.

Yucky, yucky, yucky...

Old post...from another blog site...

Ugh...the weather is yucky, I feel yucky...all I want to do is sleep. But who sleeps with an almost 5 year old son running around?

So, the Jags won...we finally kicked some Titan ass! Go JAGS!

Bucs won too! Yay Bucs!

It's pouring rain...where's my blanky...There are so many things I need to do around the house, but I just can't seem to get motivated at all. I hate this!

I now return you to your regularly scheduled life...

Ah...my gorgeous little boy!

Old post...from another blog site...

Just had to post his latest picture. Isn't he adorable?? I can't believe he'll be 5 next month!

Title: Wow...things are improving...

Old post...from another blog site...

So...Rick and the dog found a place to live (YAY!). It's in our price range, close enough to work, fully furnished, and on top of a hill with a view of a golf course. He couldn't have asked for anything better! :)

My step-daughter called us from her base in VA (she's in the Army) and informed us that she's getting married...in the week between Christmas and New Year's...THIS YEAR!! And she wants me to help his mother plan it all! Talk about short notice!!! ARGH! How am I supposed to be a single mom (since Rick's in Cali), plan Thanksgiving, Christmas shop (with my son with me!), plan Christmas, get the house ready to be sold, AND plan a wedding??? I think I need a nap! Invitations technically should go out NOW...and I'm going to be the one to print them...she hasn't even given me the name/address of the Church, much less a guest list!!

UGH!

So...things are looking up...

Old post...from another blog site...

Rick and the dog made it to Cali safely. He's meeting some of the people he'll be working with today for lunch...and then he starts his new job tomorrow morning. It's weird...I know I miss him...but at the same time, I don't. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've had to push the "missing him" down deep in order to get through each day. It surfaces from time to time...but mostly I'm just too tired by the end of the day to really get emotional about it. Let's just say, I have a new found respect for all those single parents out there!

California here we come...

Old post...from another blog site...

Okay, hubby leaves tomorrow to drive to Cali to start his new job next Wednesday. I'm dealing with it much better today than I was last night. Last night it was just such a shock I didn't know how to feel. Today, I realize that this is what I prayed to God for and I got exactly what I asked for. I prayed that Rick would find a job...any job...making good money...and I promised that I would go wherever he found work. So, I can NOT complain. I can, however, be sad to leave our families behind. I can, however, be scared to be on my own with our son for the next six months. I can, however, be apprehensive about packing up and moving 2,300 miles away (that's gonna be a long drive with a 5 year old, 3 cats and a dog...UGH).

It wasn't easy explaining to our son last night that Daddy's going away. He's still young enough that he doesn't understand the concept of time and distance. Rick realized he's gonna miss Halloween with Jason. And that he'll probably spend Thanksgiving alone (as will we). We're hoping he can fly home for Christmas and Jason's birthday...but he won't be here for our 6th anniversary in March. Wow...too much to think about. My head's starting to hurt again. :(

Oh my freakin' GOD!!!

Old post...from another blog site...

Wow. I mean...WOW. Hubby got a job. A really great job. But it's in FREAKIN' CALIFORNIA!!! I don't wanna be 3000 miles from my family!!! But I've got to be supportive. He's so thrilled about it...I have to be happy too. I don't want to bring him down. He's been down for so long, he deserves to be happy.

California's nice, I guess. Good weather...but lousy pollution. Oh my. I don't know what to do, think or say. ARGH!!!

Ugh...

Old post...from another blog site...

Ugh...That's all.

Not doing well today...

Old post...from another blog site...

Not only do I feel like crap physically, but I'm an emotional wreck as well. I've got this panicky feeling and I don't know what to do about it.

Hubby still hasn't found a job, and money is more than tight. Argh! I can't take it!

And so the downward spiral begins...

Old post...from another blog site...

Well...hubby is now officially unemployed again. And money has officially run out. He gets one more paycheck which will help with this month's bills, but then we're screwed. Time to start scaling back/cancelling some of the little things in life that aren't necessities.

Okay...that's all for now. Too depressed to type.

Ah...life...the eternal roller coaster...

Old post...from another blog site...

So...this is hubby's last week on his current job. He's got some good prospects. One of which would have us moving to Washington State, almost into Canada. The up side, it would be really good money and I could possibly be a stay at home mom. The down side, we'd be 3000+ miles from any and all family members. I'm sort of torn. My parents can afford to fly up and visit a couple of times a year (which still isn't often enough), but hubby's mom can't afford to do that. We could maybe fly down once a year, but I really want my son to have a regular relationship with his grandparents. I'm supporting my husband, and I'm willing to make the sacrafice...but it's gonna be STRESSFUL!!!

Ya know...life really sucks sometimes...

Old post...from another blog site...

Okay, so my hubby lost his job almost 6 months ago now...after 11+ years with the company. That in itself sucks. He's been working a contract job that takes him away from home during the week, so we only see him on weekends. That also sucks, but not as badly. So now this contract job will be ending in four weeks, and every job he interviews for, he doesn't get...even though the interviews seeem to go very well. So...in four weeks, we're down to just my salary, with all the same bills (even more actually) and no prospects in sight. I guess it's a good thing I'm not pregnant yet, huh?

Plus, two weeks ago we got a bill from the IRS for back taxes from 2003 (thanks to a screw-up with our HR department), so now we've gotta come up with $650 within the next two weeks. There goes most of my bonus. Oh well... I didn't want to pay the bills anyway...

I've been praying, but so far, nothing. I wouldn't even mind moving to Orlando or Tampa or anywhere in between because we'd be closer to family that way. But it's a specialized field and there just aren't that many jobs out there.

I don't know if we're gonna make it. Our relationship will be fine because we love each other...but our financial situation looks really bleak right now.

Life sucks right about now...

Maybe it's not so bad after all...

Old post...from another blog site...

Well, my friends, mom and hubby have convinced me that I'm not starting menopause...and even if I were, that doesn't mean we can't ever have another baby. I could still get pregnant, I guess. I'll just have to relax, wait and see.

As for relaxing, I promised myself I'd go to bed early, but have I? No, of course not. So I'm gonna sign off and do just that.

G'night, y'all!

So this is what menopause feels like...

Old post...transferred from another blog site...

Well, I guess I shouldn't say that really. I've not seen a doctor. I've not been diagnosed. What I have been is unable to conceive our second child. Our son wants a baby brother. I just turned 39...and we've been trying for almost 6 months with no luck. I've always gotten pregnant very easily in the past, so what the hell is going on??

Well...I can only assume it's the start of menopause. My cycles started getting shorter. Last month, it was 3 days shorter. This month it was 6 days shorter. Eventually, I will just have my period all the time! Yuck!

So that's it. I throw in the proverbial towel. Going forward, we're just gonna fool around for the fun of it!

On other topics...the beautiful State of Florida is preparing for the arrival of Katrina. I may be out of the path of this one, but we're still gonna have a crappy weekend. I guess we'd better rent some movies!

Okay...I'm outta here!