California here we come...

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Okay, hubby leaves tomorrow to drive to Cali to start his new job next Wednesday. I'm dealing with it much better today than I was last night. Last night it was just such a shock I didn't know how to feel. Today, I realize that this is what I prayed to God for and I got exactly what I asked for. I prayed that Rick would find a job...any job...making good money...and I promised that I would go wherever he found work. So, I can NOT complain. I can, however, be sad to leave our families behind. I can, however, be scared to be on my own with our son for the next six months. I can, however, be apprehensive about packing up and moving 2,300 miles away (that's gonna be a long drive with a 5 year old, 3 cats and a dog...UGH).

It wasn't easy explaining to our son last night that Daddy's going away. He's still young enough that he doesn't understand the concept of time and distance. Rick realized he's gonna miss Halloween with Jason. And that he'll probably spend Thanksgiving alone (as will we). We're hoping he can fly home for Christmas and Jason's birthday...but he won't be here for our 6th anniversary in March. Wow...too much to think about. My head's starting to hurt again. :(

Oh my freakin' GOD!!!

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Wow. I mean...WOW. Hubby got a job. A really great job. But it's in FREAKIN' CALIFORNIA!!! I don't wanna be 3000 miles from my family!!! But I've got to be supportive. He's so thrilled about it...I have to be happy too. I don't want to bring him down. He's been down for so long, he deserves to be happy.

California's nice, I guess. Good weather...but lousy pollution. Oh my. I don't know what to do, think or say. ARGH!!!

Ugh...

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Ugh...That's all.

Not doing well today...

Old post...from another blog site...

Not only do I feel like crap physically, but I'm an emotional wreck as well. I've got this panicky feeling and I don't know what to do about it.

Hubby still hasn't found a job, and money is more than tight. Argh! I can't take it!

And so the downward spiral begins...

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Well...hubby is now officially unemployed again. And money has officially run out. He gets one more paycheck which will help with this month's bills, but then we're screwed. Time to start scaling back/cancelling some of the little things in life that aren't necessities.

Okay...that's all for now. Too depressed to type.

Ah...life...the eternal roller coaster...

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So...this is hubby's last week on his current job. He's got some good prospects. One of which would have us moving to Washington State, almost into Canada. The up side, it would be really good money and I could possibly be a stay at home mom. The down side, we'd be 3000+ miles from any and all family members. I'm sort of torn. My parents can afford to fly up and visit a couple of times a year (which still isn't often enough), but hubby's mom can't afford to do that. We could maybe fly down once a year, but I really want my son to have a regular relationship with his grandparents. I'm supporting my husband, and I'm willing to make the sacrafice...but it's gonna be STRESSFUL!!!

Ya know...life really sucks sometimes...

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Okay, so my hubby lost his job almost 6 months ago now...after 11+ years with the company. That in itself sucks. He's been working a contract job that takes him away from home during the week, so we only see him on weekends. That also sucks, but not as badly. So now this contract job will be ending in four weeks, and every job he interviews for, he doesn't get...even though the interviews seeem to go very well. So...in four weeks, we're down to just my salary, with all the same bills (even more actually) and no prospects in sight. I guess it's a good thing I'm not pregnant yet, huh?

Plus, two weeks ago we got a bill from the IRS for back taxes from 2003 (thanks to a screw-up with our HR department), so now we've gotta come up with $650 within the next two weeks. There goes most of my bonus. Oh well... I didn't want to pay the bills anyway...

I've been praying, but so far, nothing. I wouldn't even mind moving to Orlando or Tampa or anywhere in between because we'd be closer to family that way. But it's a specialized field and there just aren't that many jobs out there.

I don't know if we're gonna make it. Our relationship will be fine because we love each other...but our financial situation looks really bleak right now.

Life sucks right about now...

Maybe it's not so bad after all...

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Well, my friends, mom and hubby have convinced me that I'm not starting menopause...and even if I were, that doesn't mean we can't ever have another baby. I could still get pregnant, I guess. I'll just have to relax, wait and see.

As for relaxing, I promised myself I'd go to bed early, but have I? No, of course not. So I'm gonna sign off and do just that.

G'night, y'all!

So this is what menopause feels like...

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Well, I guess I shouldn't say that really. I've not seen a doctor. I've not been diagnosed. What I have been is unable to conceive our second child. Our son wants a baby brother. I just turned 39...and we've been trying for almost 6 months with no luck. I've always gotten pregnant very easily in the past, so what the hell is going on??

Well...I can only assume it's the start of menopause. My cycles started getting shorter. Last month, it was 3 days shorter. This month it was 6 days shorter. Eventually, I will just have my period all the time! Yuck!

So that's it. I throw in the proverbial towel. Going forward, we're just gonna fool around for the fun of it!

On other topics...the beautiful State of Florida is preparing for the arrival of Katrina. I may be out of the path of this one, but we're still gonna have a crappy weekend. I guess we'd better rent some movies!

Okay...I'm outta here!